THANKSGIVING

With so many years in the past Thanksgiving has been a day of stuffing my face, football watching, a family Turkey bowl game and the traditions of going around the table and saying one thing we are thankful for. This year has been a little different. There have been several experiences this past year that have caused me to realize the importance of truly being grateful. This Thanksgiving morning I have truly felt deep gratitude for many of the blessings the lord has given me. I am thankful for my family and the chance we have to all be together during this holiday and for the fun and good memories we can create together. I am thankful for my husband who sticks by me no matter the situation. I am thankful for my children and the joy they bring to me. I am thankful for good friends who would drop everything to come to my side when I need them. I am thankful for financial stability, my family in Texas, my religion and so much more.

Normally I don't think about what I am going to say at the table until my belly is full but this year I know exactly what I am going to say. This year what I am most grateful for is the health of my children, my husband, and myself.

As many of you know this has been a hard year for C.J.'s family with the diagnosis of our 5 year old niece, Jaylie, and her brain cancer and then with our brand new nephew needing multiple heart surgeries at just a few weeks old. As a mother I can't help but put myself in my sister-in-laws shoes and try to understand what they are feeling as they watch their child struggle. I am infinately more grateful to be able to step out of their shoes and enjoy my children and their health. My emotions have been all over the place as I continue to watch my neice and nephew fight for their lives. I remember the morning after we found out about Jaylie's brain tumor and the possibility of it being cancerous I could not control my feelings. I woke up and just held my children and cried. For whatever reason I felt the need to write those feeling down so that I could remember them years from now. I have only shared what I wrote with one person, my husband, because it was so personal to me. Today C.J. told me he thought I should post what I wrote that morning on the blog. I was hesitant at first but thought it fit with the Thanksgiving spirit and expressed what I am most grateful for. I am not a great writer, I don't proclaim to be, but I enjoy putting my feelings on paper and in this case felt the need to share. So here goes... I called it Green Pancakes because that morning I was supposed to begin writing a very important paper for school but found myself unable to think about anything else besides how grateful I was for all the things that drove me nuts about being a mom. I felt the need to enjoy my children and and the simplicity of our life here on earth. Instead of starting on that paper I made my kids green pancakes and we sat on the floor and laughed and giggled as we ate them together.

Green Pancakes

I made green pancakes today

Simply grateful for one more day

With my sweet and beautiful girls

Ages 2 and 2 months, blue eyes and thick curls

Life is so fragile you never know

When the Lord will say it’s time to go

I am so sorry its taken the experience of one

To realize my blessings and what he has done

He’s given me things I should be grateful for

Life’s little moments, I taken for granted no more

I am so grateful for times I’ve lost my head

So grateful for the crumbs that are in my bed

So grateful for the messes that they make

So grateful for my things that they break

So grateful for tears shed today

So grateful for the price my Lord paid

So grateful that he loved enough to die

My eternal family is what he would buy

So grateful for the stress of each day

So grateful the Lord made it this way

So grateful for the days that they whine

So grateful for just a little more time

So grateful for the sound of their voice

So grateful I was given a choice

To come to this earth and be made a mother

My trials are so easy compared to another

So grateful for their joy and laughter

Their smiles are mine forever after

So grateful for their earthly bodies, I love

Which were sent to me from heaven above

So grateful that our spirits will always live on

Temple ordinances provide an unbreakable bond

So grateful that the Lord has a plan

In time I hope I will understand

So if he must take one of my own

I pray he heals my broken home

So grateful for my eternal family

Together forever I know we’ll live happily

And so with this poem I write today

I thank the Lord for Green pancakes and one more day

I Love you Kip, Kajsa, Jaylie, Breklyn, Crew, Ryan, Brandilyn and baby Briggs.